# The Apology I Waited Thirty Years to Give

2026-06-22 · English
#regret #apology #guilt #childhood #forgiveness

---

In school I was unkind to a boy in my class. Not in a dramatic way — no single incident I can point to. Just the slow drip of exclusion, of a turned back, of making sure he knew he was on the outside of something.

I have thought about him periodically for thirty years. I don't know why I was like that. I was afraid, probably. Of being the one on the outside instead.

Last year I found him on LinkedIn. He works in engineering. He has a family. He looks happy in his profile picture. I stared at it for a long time and then I wrote him a message.

I told him I remembered being unkind to him and that I was sorry. I didn't explain it or justify it. I just said: I was unkind, I'm sorry, I've thought about it for a long time.

He wrote back four days later. He said he'd forgotten about it entirely. He said thank you, that it was a nice thing to do, and that he hoped I was well.

I don't know if it helped him at all. It helped me enormously. I'm not sure what to make of that.